Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
