Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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