I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
