You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
