Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
and she was petting her beer can
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
