let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
