Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
