there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
