He kissed a someone with a penis
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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