I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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