And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
