I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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