He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
