Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
