Whoa Z and x make the same sound
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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