hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
