If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
