you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
