I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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