Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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