this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
