don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize