Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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