I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
