SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
