Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
