this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
did i just pee glitter
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
