I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It's Friday. Sex?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
