didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
