Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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