No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
