As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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