i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
