i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I don't deserve a penis
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize