Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
