Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize