Redeem this text for a blowjob
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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