Your face is a jimmy john
I'm really into asian looking animals
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
