Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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