i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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