I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
it's great music for shaving your balls
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You did what with his pubic hair?
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