Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Randomize
