He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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