VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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