So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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