If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
