glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
