Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
