You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
