Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize