Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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