they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
