i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
