I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
