woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
