Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
