So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
