Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
