So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
